Appropriate Wedding Attire:
How Formal Are You Really?

If you don't, you could end up dragging a heavy beaded train across a pasture, or melting in a long sleeved dress at an outdoor reception in August.

This actually happens a lot.

The wedding attire you choose should be appropriate “costumes” for the style and theme of the day you went to so much trouble to plan.

Your wedding day is a very important event. To show that you acknowledge the importance of the event, you and your fiancé will dress up and your guests will also dress up. But what exactly does “dress up” mean to you?

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• What’s your lifestyle? How do you spend your free time?
• What’s a special night out for you?
• How do dress every day? On weekends?
• How do you dress for church on Sunday?
• For a holiday party or a company event?
• How would you dress for dinner at a nice restaurant in your hometown?

A general rule of thumb is to look at the clothes you wear when you “dress up” and make them a touch more special.

That is the level of formality in wedding apparel you and your fiancé are likely to be comfortable with. Think of it as overdressing for a nice party.

This is where most people get confused. Couples don’t want to see a tuxedo t-shirt at their wedding, so they go to vendors and throw the word ‘formal’ around and end up having a more formal wedding (and a more expensive wedding) than they ever intended.

In wedding speak, informal attire still means “well put together and elegant.”

Very few people actually have formal weddings anymore. Formal = tux and an evening gown. Most are semi-formal to informal events where the proper attire for guests will be their Sunday best or cocktail attire.

Casual weddings are also not that unusual. Those weddings can be lovely too, as long as no one confuses casual for sloppy!

When deciding how formal you would like your wedding apparel - and your wedding day - to be, it's proper that you should also consider who your guests are.

A quick rule of thumb: The majority of your guests should not have to buy new clothes to attend your wedding.

For example, if your family and friends live pretty casual lives, requiring them to dress up a bit to attend your wedding is reasonable, but requiring them to rent tuxes and purchase formal gowns for your wedding is not.

Cocktail attire is what we consider dressing up nowadays.

A fabulous cocktail dress and a nice suit can feel formal without being stuffy, and most people have these items in their wardrobe already or will use them again. It's proper attire for most weddings.

Ultimately, be true to yourself.

If you love to spend your free time hiking and camping, a big fluffy beaded wedding dress that restricts movement (and the wedding that goes with it) is going to make you crazy. For you, that will NOT be appropriate wedding attire.

No matter how many times your mother tries to convince you otherwise, you’ll forever be looking at your wedding pictures and wondering… “who IS that woman in that crazy mess of crinoline and sequins?”

Really, the appropriate wedding attire for your event is all up to you.

You and your fiancé should dress nicely enough to show your reverence for the specialness of the event, and yet still be yourselves.

It’s your day, the wedding apparel can be whatever you want, as long as it’s the appropriate costume for the event you’ve planned.

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